Download Love Smart: find the One you Want - Fix the One You Got, by Phillip McGraw
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Love Smart: find the One you Want - Fix the One You Got, by Phillip McGraw
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- Sales Rank: #5388215 in Books
- Published on: 2005
- Format: Import
- Original language: English
- Binding: Hardcover
- 320 pages
Most helpful customer reviews
129 of 141 people found the following review helpful.
Loving yourself first... a guy's review.
By Inkhorn
Dr Phil is spot on as usual.
This book is full of common sense. As you read you discover the great advice, which clearly is directed at women, yet much of it holds true for guys too. I can see how the strategies would work. As a guy I don't want to see all our secrets given away.
Among the many pieces of advice offered are have a life, overcome your own issues such as low self esteem, and learn to love yourself.
Issues can be overcome. After all, if you don't love yourself enough then you are relying on a guy for validation. How can you persuade a guy how fabulous you are if you don't believe it yourself.
That is not a permanent fix, at best its a dubious band aid. Guys know women with low self esteem are not good relationship material, so why do so many women say they have low self esteem. Go figure. The best thing is to be a self sufficient woman, be less available, have alternative plans. Give him the gift of missing you, if necessary. This creates mystery, which is a vital ingredient for developing a relationship. Less is more.
Letting go of seeking perfection in a man is excellent advice. If a guy has 80% of the qualities you are looking for, you should bag him, tag him, and take him home. My sister once dated a guy, and said 'if he had a chipped front tooth he'd be perfect.' So even perfection is not all its cracked up to be.
Develop an abundance mentality. Women search for 'the one'. There are many who fit the bill from a pool of billions to choose from. Let go of scarcity.
I thought the advice on bringing up the subject of marriage was particularly good, avoiding the ultimatum. Another book I read mentions that women have to bring up this subject almost 70% of the time.
The advice on date topics and questions is also excellent. There should be a rule about not talking about your job, the weather, and telling the story of your life like a history lesson, and conducting a date like a job interview. These are just routine, and guys get these types of conversations from their buddies. Excluding these topics forces you to be interesting. Talk about what excites you instead.
Unlike other bestselling dating books, I can see how this book would work, and the more you apply the concepts the better they will work for you.
Oh, and if you want to improve your ability to love yourself and others, I recommend Soul Love: Awakening Your Heart Centers (Roman, Sanaya) by Sanaya Roman, in which you use your imagination and work with your chakras. It literally is a heartwarming book. My number one recommend in this genre is Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl - A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship. B.I.T.C.H means Babe In Total Control of Herself.
Hope this was useful.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
He's right on... AGAIN!!
By JennaLei
I didn't know there could be a FUN game of dating! I always thought guys were trying to get a bootie call and girls were showing a lil' too much of their bootie (It's all about the bootie isn't it! ha!). Finally Dr. Phil showed me that there is a way to date that is reasonable! Finally he showed me how to love myself, find my best assets, believe in myself and just show that to the world.
I didn't grow up with brothers so it was so helpful for Dr. Phil to give the inside scoop on what men are REALLY like! Hilarious, sobering and sooo true.
I highly recommend this book to whomever wants to get out there and date. He's right, people aren't single on accident. Get to the root issue on WHY people are single.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Awesome!
By Linda Lemire
I am a 58 year old woman who is frustrated with how to find my life partner. Dr. Phil takes you through the whole process. First, you need to figure out who you are and then what exactly you are looking for in a mate. And then you must realize that Mr. Perfect does not exist so go for the 80% match. The rest can grow. I am in the process of reading it again and I think that my copy will be dog-eared by the time that I am finished. This book is a must read for any woman who is at her wits end and could use a little help....
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